Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
