how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
