I could have mohawked her pubes.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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