my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
