and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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