Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
