what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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