So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
