I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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