I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
