In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it glows. i had to have it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
