So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
