if i died would you start the facebook group?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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