I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
should my penis look like a turkey
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
