she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
