Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
