we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
