I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
