grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Enjoy the penises
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
