How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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