You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
