So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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