Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
