R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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