At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
