alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
