Kiss
Puke
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
