So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
