just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Mom said you looked used
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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