toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
