I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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