I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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