the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
