Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
