i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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