I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
