One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
