So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
