i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
