pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
