she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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