I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
