im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my shit smells like andre
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
