If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
