I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
