you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
