I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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