I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
