Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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