So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Can i not drive my cunt home
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
