Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
