It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
