Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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